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Gratitude Friday: Surrendering to the Unknown Edition

GratitudeFriday

New Gratitude Friday image by my awesome friend, Annie!

I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of Brené Brown‘s work lately. For those of you who don’t know of her, she does research on shame and vulnerability (among other topics). Brown is well known for her TED talk, “The Power of Vulnerability.” Brown’s research speaks to me lately because I feel incredibly vulnerable. Right now, I’m dealing with a significant amount of somewhat unexpected change. I am in a state of vulnerability and have a lot of anxiety. I dealt with similar anxiety at the start of my internship. This time, however, I am trying to view the situation through a different lens. I feel slightly more at peace now that I’m reading one of Brown’s books “Gifts of Imperfection.” We all deal with feeling bad about our abilities at some point, it’s just that many of us don’t talk about it. This is one of the messages Brown is trying to convey in her book. She says that talking about our fears increases connection among people. For the record, I am also seeking out therapy to help me deal with this anxiety. No shame; I’m a therapist and I practice what I preach 🙂 I’m writing this post today to let you know that I’m really insecure about my abilities whenever it comes to starting something new. It’s probably why I stayed in my old job for as long as I did. It’s definitely why I’ve needed to cut down on my caffeine consumption ever since starting at my new job 3 weeks ago. Despite this, I feel incredibly grateful for this entire experience. I have deep issues regarding change that stem from childhood, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stay in my comfort zone. Life is too short. feelthefear I’m grateful to share my experiences – both good and bad – with you guys. Who knows, maybe some of you have issues with change too. It would make my day to know that I helped someone feel less alone. I’m grateful that I finally let go of my old job. Yes, I do still look back at it and feel deeply sad, but I also feel a sense of freedom. I felt so trapped in that job because it gave me health insurance. Now, I realize that buying my own policy is not a big deal (though the insurance I chose sucks. ‘Twas the cheapest one) and I am able to live my life just as I always did. I am not defined by my job. I learned that I still carry the best parts of my life with me even though so much has changed. I’m grateful for yoga. My uncle (a yoga teacher) always tells us to “surrender” when we do the relaxation pose in his class. I thought about surrendering a lot during my class Monday night and made the commitment to go with the flow this week. Yoga makes me more intentional and more at peace <3 I’m grateful that I finally got new glasses. Starting on February 1st (yes, I remember the date), I noticed that my computer screen was much blurrier than usual and that my right eye felt very strained. I found my old pair of glasses from 2007 (!) and they helped temporarily. However, my eye strain returned with a vengeance last week. I made an appointment to get my eyes checked and found out that my prescription was incredibly low in the old glasses compared to what I need now. It was really great to find out that I only really need glasses for the computer/reading. My vision isn’t so bad 😀 IMG_2620.JPG I am also grateful I found a cheap place to go for glasses! Sadly, I do not have vision insurance. After conducting some research, I found out that America’s Best offers 2 pairs of glasses for $70 with a free eye exam. SUCH A GOOD DEAL. I have zero complaints and the service there was awesome. Perhaps I’d think differently if I wore contacts or wanted fancy upgrades for my glasses, but right now I’m just grateful to have glasses that help me see when I write blog posts. I’m grateful for the people in my life. Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to tell you how great my friends and family are. I have so much support as I navigate my new journey in life. I’m grateful for these quotes from Brené Brown’s “Gifts of Imperfection”

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” “Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites.” “Here’s what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we’re worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”

I’m grateful for Starbucks. Frappuccino Happy Hour is way too good. Since I don’t have much schoolwork these days, I’ve started going to Starbucks to read and indulge in deliciousness. I guess I’ve been going so much that I earned 10 bonus stars without trying, HA! Now I have 2 free drinks to cash in! IMG_2613.JPG I’m grateful that I have more free time these days. I feel like I’m rediscovering who I am and what I enjoy now that I don’t work 6 days per week. I love reading self-help books and novels, running, yoga, reading blogs, writing my blog, being outdoors, seeing friends… the list continues. I’m grateful for exercise. This is on my list every single week, but it’s true. Running has kept me sane. Among all the change, running is a constant. I can count on it to be there after a bad day (or a good day!). I’m grateful I was accepted to run the Chicago Marathon! This. Is. Amazing. I loved training for my first marathon and am PSYCHED to run my second. I’m grateful for my internship. Recently, a client told me I made such a difference in his life. My supervisor is the most supportive and open-minded person ever. This has honestly been such a worthwhile experience and, after all the anxiety of starting the internship, I can’t believe I’m saying this… but I will be DEVASTATED when I have to leave in August. Devastated. I really want to stay. I’m grateful that it’s May. My birthday is on the 29th and I’m ready to celebrate. I’ll be 27! So old, ha 😀 Even though I am overwhelmed by fear, I’m grateful for the unknown. The road is long in life and I can’t wait to see what happens next. Are you a self-help book junkie like I am? When is your birthday? How old will you be? Help me out and comment with a tip for working through anxiety 🙂